The Right Doyle

A mysterious man calls the Doyle household and insistes that "the right Doyle" appear in the mall food court the next day at noon, if they don't appear the entire family will risk serious trauma. Never a family to risk serious trauma, the family discusses who might be "the right Doyle" and eventually settles on Christian as he is the least valuable and most expendable member of the family.

Of course, not long after noon the family gets another call from the same caller indicating that the Doyles have not sent "the right Doyle," but that they will have a chance to redeem themselves the next day.

Of course even though they send Jake the next day they get another call suggesting that they have not sent "the right Doyle."

After a few days of sending Doyles to the mall food court Tinny is the only one not to have made the trip. And though they are reluctant to send her, the Doyles are very interested in avoiding the serious consequences that have been threatened if "the right Doyle" doesn't make an appearance in the food court at the agreed upon time.

As soon as Tinny takes a seat in the food court Des walks in sits down with a family pack of fried chicken. It turns out Des just wanted to have lunch with Tinny and he knew that she wouldn't voluntarily join him for such an outing. Tinny decides to stay for lunch, but only because fried chicken is her favourite food.

The Social Doyle

Jake finally decides to "get with the times" and asks Des to help him set up a Facebook account. Unfortunately, Jake discovers he only has two friends - Walter and Rose. Jake quickly gives up on "The Facebook" and decides he might have better luck with ChatRoulette.

Catch Tinny if you can

Tinny's weed operation fails, and she becomes a very successful con artist to make some desperately needed money. Jake and Mal are brought in to assist the RNC catch the con artist, code named the Mount Pearl Curl. Tinny embarrasses Jake several times by escaping from under his nose. Jake is the laughingstock of the entire force, and Leslie begins to wonder if her affections for Jake were misplaced (she still has a thing for "the dark foreigner)."

Des realizes the con artist is Tinny, and convinces her to be a regular, law abiding citizen. Des then grows a wicked Mount Pearl Curl, and provides Jake with a series of clues that leads to him. Jake arrests Des, and regains the respect of the police, but has already lost Leslie, who now has fallen for The Dark Foreigner. Meanwhile Des and his curl are a huge hit at the pen. Can Jake win Leslie back? Will Leslie go down dark foreigner alley? Will catholic guilt force Tinny to confess?

Winter's Doyle

Because it's winter and winter is cold Jake decides just to hibernate instead of risking the frost-bite he would be sure to get by going shirtless in St. John's in February. Crime rates skyrocket in Jake's self-imposed absence.

Just in time for Oscar Season: Doyle Story 3

The Doyle Knight

Jake looks up the meaning of the family name Doyle online, and discovers it means "dark foreigner." Jake is so pleased with this, he insists that everyone call him "the dark foreigner" and the name of the show to be changed to "Republic of Dark Foreigner."

Everyone is annoyed, but Jake goes farther, trying to look and act mysterious, and playing his new theme song "Hot Blooded" on bust.

City council places a dark foreigner signal on top of city hall, so that whenever the dark foreigner is needed, he can see the glowing sunglasses in the sky. Council then convinces the dark foreigner that they need him to be the villain for St. John's for a while, and Jake happily runs off into hiding. Everyone sighs in relief that Jake is having a timeout.

Doyle Story 3

Jake finally starts to come to terms with the fact that he is really nothing more than an abs bearing boy toy, the Ken doll of private detecting. Apparently no one takes him seriously, or even really wants him in their lives for more than a few years, Malachy included. How will Jake come to terms with this realization about his uselessness? Easy, a death-defying escape/road trip with Walter, all the while being chased by the evil Martin Poole (their only real enemy). Fortunately they make it through the death trap that is the Holyrood power plant and back to St. John's, where they find a new bar to take them in and appreciate them anew.

The Doyle in the Iron Mask

Jake discovers there is a new, more successful, more handsome PI in St. John's. Jake uses his years as a blacksmith apprentice to make an iron mask for the gentleman. Jake then has Leslie arrest him on a false charge, and bribes the guards at the pen to keep the mask on the man, so that the ladies may never set their eyes on him.

His position once again secure, Jake goes about detecting with gusto, and while examining a metal pail for clues, gets his head stuck in the bucket. Jake is really stuck, but manages to make the best of it, getting custom sunglasses for the bucket.

Jake is better protected from the hits to the head he frequently gets, and uses the bucket to gain sympathy with the Florence Nightingale types, increasing his success with the ladies. Will Jake ever get the bucket off his head? Will St. John's ever find out about the PI in the iron mask? Yes and no (suspense is not the show's strong suit).

True Doyle

While working on a case Jake is kidnapped and given a truth serum. Shortly after the serum is administered and the needed information given up Jake is released in a cow field in the Goulds.

Amazingly, the serum seems not to be wearing off - meaning that Jake can't tell a lie. Not surprisingly this state of affairs proves problematic (and humorous) in the private detecting business and causes Jake to botch a big case for the Doyles. But where it really impacts Jake's life is in the realm of lust. How is he supposed to play both Leslie and the hot crown prosecutor if he can't lie to one or both of them? What if one of them asks him if he loves them? Finally, Jake is forced to admit who he loves the most. The answer, not surprisingly, is himself (Nikki turns out to be in second place).

The Doyle's Speech

Jake is to be called to testify in a case that is being prosecuted by the elegant and educated hot crown prosecutor. Jake realizes that he should have something of a speech prepared with which to impress his audience, and that he should do his best to diminish his Goulds accent (so that he can appear as refined as possible for this hot mainlander). Walter, though he too has a bit of a Newfoundland accent, is enlisted to help Jake mainland-up his speech for the court appearance. Because the b'ys decide to hold their elocution lessons in the Duke over a few pints they are less effective than hoped for, and they cause Jake to forget to prepare for his appearance. Not surprisingly, Jake's fourth rate testimony wrecks the hot crown prosecutor's case, causing the perp to go free, and causing the hot crown prosecutor to be less than impressed with Jake. Fortunately for Jake, Leslie is kicking around on a back burner somewhere and just needs a phone call to be brought back into play.

The Doyles Are All Right

Jake eventually comes to the realization that he is more than just a Doyle, he is also 50% of whatever his mother was. Though Malachy is hesitant to provide many details about his mother, Jake is eventually able to figure out her maiden name and track down her family (he does have those Doyle detecting skills after all). As expected, Jake takes an interest in this new family and wants to get to know them and which genetic traits/powers he may have because of them. Obviously, through all of this Mal feels spurned. Wasn't he a good enough father? Can't Jake just be happy to be a Doyle? Eventually Jake realizes that even though he may be technically 50% of whatever his mother was, functionally he is 100% Doyle.

127 Doyles

In the midst of the confusion of a large Doyle family reunion someone absconds with the roast pig. Immediately the Doyle family jumps into actions and begins investigating the theft. Several different groups of Doyles are followed, which allows different detecting styles to be highlighted. As usual, Jake and Mal take a Jake getting punched in the face approach, Faustus employs some of the mysticism of the East, while Mal's brother Jimmy reverts to his backwoods stylings. All the while the Green Bay Doyles just look on and laugh (they have already consumed the missing pig).

Legends of the Doyle

Disillusioned by the seedy side of St. John's, Mal moves Jake and Christian to Bay Bulls where they can be free and run tours. Des, who is like a son since Tinny's death from tuberculosis, come to live with them and bring gorgeous MUN grad girlfriend Sooze. Des, Jake, and Christian go to Afghanistan where Des dies. Years later, Jake becomes a town councillor and marries Sooze, while Christian goes walkabout. Christian gets killed by a moose.

Contributed from Twitter by Chris Noseworthy.

Backstreet Doyles

In order to endear themselves to a new generation of St. John's ladies Jake and Christian decide to start St. John's first boy band. To fill out their numbers they convince Mal and Walter to join. Unfortunately for the boys, Mal's tendency to harmonize makes them sound a little more barbershop than the ladies find attractive. On the up side, the Backstreet Doyles are able to secure a regular booking down the the Hoyles Escasoni.

How to train your Doyle

In the days after her marriage to Mal, Rose sets about getting her stepsons to behave properly and to treat women with respect. Of course neither Christian nor Jake respond well to having a new wannabe mother figure telling them what to do. In fact, both boy rebel and end up treating all of the women in their lives with even less respect, which is a fairly impressive feat when you consider who it is we are talking about. It is only when Jake and Christian realize that having Rose put in a good word for them might be of use do they start trying to endear themselves to Rose.

Des-perately Seeking Tinny

Des puts a personals ad in The Scope but doesn't leave his name. It gets answered by lawyer Allison, but he thinks it's Tinny.

Contributed via Twitter by KKellyNFHerald

The Adventures of Faustus Doyle

Uncle Faustus returns after 3 decades abroad and recounts tales of his adventures detecting in foreign lands.

There will be Doyle

After the Doyles foul up another case for the RNC it becomes clear to everyone in the law-enforcement establishment that they have over-stayed their welcome. Even if the RNC doesn't have the power to directly shut them down, they do decide to try to cut the Doyles off from all access and information, which they hope will force the Doyles to close up shop.

When the Doyles get wind of the actions being taken against they contemplate resignation and failure but then opt to solve the biggest case of their careers to make the public aware of their contribution to detecting in the province. They feel that with universal public support the RNC will have no choice but to accept their continued existence.

Of course for a case to have such an impact it will need to be big, very big. So big that everyone in the province will appreciate them for solving it.

Fortunately for Jake and Mal there happens to be a cold case this big for them to solve: the disappearance of the mighty cod. If they can solve this case they will forever win a place in the hearts of all Newfoundlanders and be safe from the harassment of the petty RNC. Will they succeed where so many scientists (nature's detectives) have failed before them? Stay tuned to find out.

Where the Wild Things Doyle

Jake ups his hipster factor and purchases a romper suit, which he insists on wearing to work, leading to an argument with Malacky over his lack of professionalism. Jake runs away to his secret hiding place: he sails to Belle Island to be King of the mummers.

Jake solves the case of who shoplifted the 5 cent candies from the gas station in Wabana, and develops a crush for a saucy mummer of indeterminate age or sex. Is the only road on Belle Island a hot mummer road? Who is this mysterious creature?

Guest starring as mummers: Rick Mercer, Ron Hynes, Colleen Power, and Fergus O'Byrne. The odds don't look good.

Quantum of Doyle

Jake, with his observable private detecting skills, makes the boastful claim that he is the Doyliest of the Doyles. Of course Christian, being the eldest, feels that he has a legitimate claim to the title of Doyliest of the Doyles. To determine once and for all who is the Doyliest Jake and Christian get Mal to judge their Doyle-off. Events in the Doyle-off include: flirting, beer chugging, shirtless sauntering, and private detecting. Des, Tinny, Rose, Leslie, Walter, and the hot crown prosecutor all place bets on who they think will win. The bets and the eventual outcome will surprise even the most skeptical viewer.

Goo Goo Doyles

It seems, much to everyone's surprise, that Rose is pregnant and that Mal is to be a father for the fourth time. In addition to feelings of incomprehension and disgust, Jake eventually realizes that the most significant emotion that he is feeling is jealousy - he can't handle this new baby might take attention away from him. Things get even worse for jake when he is asked by Mal and Rose to babysit so that they can go on surveillance missions together. Fortunately, at the end of the day, little Dicky Doyle becomes a valuable member of the Doyle clan and even manages to work his way into Jake's heart.

In like a lamb, out like a Doyle

The Doyles, pleased with their success as private detectives, decide to market their particular approach of detecting through a series of seminars and audio cassettes. The method, which is based on a slow start leading towards a dazzling finale, is sold under the title In like a Lamb, Out like a Doyle. The popularity of the program is immediately apparent - the Doyles are swamped with requests for them to speak at private detecting conferences and trade shows. Of course, Doyles being Doyles, Jake and Mal are able to find cases to detect even while they are on the road hawking their wares.

Old Man Doyle

Mal, realizing he is getting too old for the detecting game, turns into a bit of a old crank. Instead of working on cases he just sits at home and hacks up bits of lung and old stories from his walking the beat days. Everybody is just looking for any excuse to put him in a home.

My love is a red, red Doyle

To celebrate his marriage to his redheaded bride Mal asks Rose to join him on a case about a local greenhouse. As a favour to Mal and Rose, Jake agrees to adopt Rose's role (which is to magically acquire the information needed) for the duration of the case. Meanwhile, Tinny is conflicted about the fact that her step-grandmother is a ginger and whether or not it would be appropriate to kick Rose on Kick a Ginger Day.

Wonderful Grand Doyle

Jake, hoping to undermine the position of the Masons and improve his own social standing, starts a fraternal order based on private detecting. As leader of this organization Jake requests that all members (Walter, Mal, Des, and Christian) refer to him as the Wonderful Grand Doyle. Sadly, the Loyal and Independent Empire of Detectors (LIED) is disbanded after only one meeting when Jake realizes that he doesn't have the funds necessary to buy the drinks that would be required to get the members to join him at their meeting at the Duke. Fortunately, Jake bought his fancy new headdress before the organization disbanded.

Doyle at the Roxbury, Part 1

Jake is investigating an assault at Zone 271, and heads down on a Saturday night to check out the scene. Jake gets into the music, and wants to dance, wondering where the ladies are. Jake shrugs and gets his dance on with a few fellas, and manages to talk to a few about the case and get some information.

Meanwhile, Leslie and the hot crown prosecutor, who have over come their jealousy for each other and become friends, are out for drinks. They decide they would like to dance without unwanted attention, and head to the Zone. Confusion reigns when they see Jake dancing up a storm, whispering, and laughing with a number men.

Jake, finally realizing it's a gay bar, sees them and thinks they are secretly having a lesbian affair. Jake is unsure whether this is the worst or best thing to happen in his life. He goes to try his luck on turning the couple into a triangle.

Will Jake go down "hot cop-crown prosecutor bypass?" Will the ladies ever be convinced that Jake is straight? All these questions will fall victim to a "To be continued..." as Jake suddenly passes out, victim of a date rape drug.

Super Doyle Osborne

Jake is hired by the Stuntperson Group of Newfoundland and Labrador (SGNL) to investigate the fledgling film industry's sketchy health and safety record. Jake decides to go undercover as a stuntman named Gordie Galway, and gets a job on the set of a historical film adaptation of the battle of the Plains of Abraham.

The movie (The Wolfe Pack, starring Tom Cruise as General Wolfe, and Mickey Rourke as the pastry-loving Marquis) takes a number of historical liberties. First, Jake has to be a stunt double for Cruise in a scene where he uses a jet ski and explosives to scale a cliff. In the battle scene, Jake is loaded into a grapeshot cannon, and fired at the French soldiers at a speed of 88 MPH.

Unfortunately, he hits a power line the film makers hadn't accounted for, and Jake is sent back in time and into the midst of the real battle. Jake is concerned that since he didn't take his own time machine, he's not sure how to get back, and that it will be difficult to investigate stunt person safety issues from here, but is distracted by opportunity to find some French girls and try out his French pickup lines.

Will Jake make it back to the present? What implications will his part in the battle have on history? The show is only funded well-enough to answer one of these questions.

The Name is Doyle, Jake Doyle

Jake decides to start emulating the world's greatest spy (and lover), James Bond. In order to do this, Jake assumes the identity of Agent 709. He attempts to drink twice as much, bed five times as many women, gamble seven days a week, and speak with a heavier accent.

After a long night of playing baccarat in a dingy bar basement (a stand-in for a casino, as St. John's does not have one), an inebriated Jake picks up a random floozy and attempts to take her to the Delta Hotel in his beloved GTO. Jake manages to drive about ten feet before smashing his car into a fire hydrant and throwing up all over the steering wheel. Obviously, not everyone can be as suave as 007.

Blind Doyle

Bees keep dying from that colony collapse syndrome, and Jake thinks the Kilbride Three are involved.

The Real Housewives of Doyle County

Des, taking a page out of Jake's playbook, realizes that the best ladies to meet are those on whom one is to be conducting adultery surveillance - as one knows that they are alone. Though many of these women are eventually desgusted wtih themselves for having succumbed to Des's charms, at the time they were utterly desirous of Des's attention. All the while Jake can't believe how easily his technique was replicated by Des.

About a Doyle

Jake's leather jacket is at the cleaners, and his sunglasses are in the repair shop after he flexed his face muscles. Without these key props, Jake doesn't have as much luck with the ladies, and loses a bit of confidence. Not to shy away from a challenge, Jake decides to hit the single parent meetings in hopes of meeting some hot moms in hot mom jeans.

In order to cover his story as a vulnerable single dad, Jake dresses Malacky up as a youngster with a large lollipop, and parades him around town. Malacky enjoys playing video games while on the play dates, and develops a serious Wii addiction, while Jakes goes to one of the support meetings to discover that hot crown prosecutor is now single... but also a mom. Will Jake go down "hot mom road?"

Doyle in the Family

This flashback episode takes us back to the time when a newly married Jake was first introduced to Nikki's family. While Nikki's parents appreciated the physical attributes of Jake's abs, they were a little less than pleased that he was so keen on displaying them at each meal. Of course, Nikki's sister Stephanie was so taken with Jake's abs that she managed to talk him into having an affair with her that night.

Doyle's Company (spin-off sitcom)

There is a huge oil and gas boom in St. John's and it's more and more difficult to find a place. Jake has to live somewhere outside the office and Christian is at Mal and Linda's, so he is forced to move in with Leslie, as is Alison, whose apartment was taken over by an oil executive from Houston willing to pay thousands more per month. Neither Mal nor Leslie nor Alison love the idea, but it can't be helped. Besides, Jake is loving it. He promises Mal he will focus on his work though, and promises both women he will be nothing but a gentleman - which he of course has no intention of doing. Walter lives upstairs, and he and Jake are always getting up to something. Des lives downstairs and is tasked with keeping an eye on Jake, but Jake of course is always one step ahead, even if it sometimes leads to painful close calls. Misunderstandings, general confusion and utter hilarity ensue...

Contributed by MPots.

Bonnie and Doyle

While working undercover as a bandit, Jake meets notorious outlaw Jane Dunn. They agree to go on a crime spree, and then take off for the mainland via Labrador. Their crime spree takes them up the Great Northern Peninsula, which means they mostly just drive, but Jake acts so crazy it seems as though he's set on becoming a criminal. Jake falls hard for Jane, and commits a number of robberies to impress her.

While waiting for the ferry to Labrador, they decide to have a picnic at the Lanse Aux Meadows site. Viking reenactors recognize Jane Dunn from her wanted posters, and cut her down with their broad swords and pointy helmets. However, they are mesmerized by Jake's good looks, and he manages to convince them he is a PI. Jake goes into deep mourning for Jane for a good 3 minutes before meeting a saucy young Viking reenactor, and they manage to sneak away for a bit of grassing.

Get your Doyle on in our newest poll!

It's that time of the week again! We've picked four of the most popular pitches for your voting pleasure in our weekly poll. The winner will either get the full YouTube treatment or a movie poster (depending on how motivated our "Photoshop Wizard" is feeling this week). And the nominees are...

The Trouble with Doyle
Christian, after bar funding collapses, finds work fixing potholes for the City of St. John's. Shortly after, residents of a quirky Newfoundland village find a freshly dead Christian on a hillside above the town.

Is mayor suspect knowing Christian liked Leslie?

Hey Doyle!
Jake, as a tambourinist, joins an 8 piece alt-rock band to kill the time between cases (and chicks dig guys in bands). This new sideline puts Jake in touch with a number of the bartenders and club owners in the St. John's area.

Almost immediately Jake starts to get the sense that something is amiss. With a little help from Des and Tinny acting as undercover operatives, Jake uncovers a cartel among the bartenders intended to drive up drink prices in the St. John's area.

Fortunately, Leslie has experience with forensic audits and corporate crime so she is able to swoop in on Jake's cue and take the big-wig bartenders down.

The Kilbride Three
The Kilbride Three are three notorious criminals, Bruce Tobin, his brother Billy Tobin, and Brad Abbott, who are actually from Shea Heights, but commit their crimes in Kilbride, commuting faithfully every Saturday night by ATV to hold up one of the three gas stations in the Kilbride area for black horse, smokes and scratch tickets (Billy also like a bit of beef Jerky, and Brad likes to ask for a soft serve, and hit on the lady working the counter).

After each hold up, they gun 'er over to one of the local cemeteries and get drunk and eat beef jerky. Everybody knows it's them, and they are wonderfully predictable, yet no one has managed to catch them until a young Nora Saunders cuts her teeth on the case. See: Remington Doyle

RoboDoyle
After being seriously injured during an intense gun fight in Da 'Bride, Jake is offered the chance to enroll in the RNC's cyborg program. Not wanting to turn down the chance to impress Leslie, Jake agrees to have his mutilated arms and legs replaced with robotic limbs. Fortunately, his natural "abs of steel" required no replacement. With his new cyborg handware, Jake decides to seek revenge on the skeets who shot him. More importantly, Jake wants to show Leslie the new features added to his "third leg".

The Trouble With Doyle

Christian, after bar funding collapses, finds work fixing potholes for the City of St. John's. Shortly after, residents of a quirky Newfoundland village find a freshly dead Christian on a hillside above the town.

Is mayor suspect knowing Christian liked Leslie?

Submitted through Twitter by KKellyNFHerald.

Moammar Doyle

In this special exclusive-to-CNN episode the Libyan branch of Doyle family makes international headlines as they use their private detecting skills to uncover evidence of the corruption and repressive practices of the current Libyan regime. Eventually they even use their special genetic detecting skills to find and detain their country's dictator.

Catcher in the Doyle

In this rare Tinny-centric episode, Tinny gets expelled from school after a teacher discovers that she has been dealing home-grown pot to other students. Knowing that she can't face Jake, Mal, and Rose, Tinny flees St. John's and makes her way to a seedy bar just outside of Foxtrap. After having a fling with a local boy, a very intoxicated Tinny hallucinates about falling off a cliff into a field of rye. Having never read "Catcher in the Rye" (she never really was much of an academic), Tinny believes the rye represents marijuana, and that her fall into the field symbolizes a safety net from her failed attempt at a proper education. Tinny returns to St. John's to resume her pot growing operation, having learned absolutely nothing from her ordeal.

Alternative Title: Doyle in the Rye

Doyle of Honour

Given their closeness over the years, Leslie asks Jake to be her maid of honour at her upcoming wedding to the Mayor. Though Jake is tempted by the offer (he has always looked superb in fuchsia) he decides instead to try to steal the bride-to-be away from the Mayor by engaging in a major charm offensive. Sadly, the only way of being nice to Leslie that Jake can come up with is to buy her coffee and doughnuts . Leslie is not impressed. Eventually Leslie realizes that she doesn't love the mayor - but marries him just to spite Jake Doyle.

The Wealth of Doyles

Out of nowhere Jake feels an invisible hand guiding him through his daily life. Fortunately for Jake, this invisible hand guides him towards socially just and equitable decisions and away from inefficient decisions. Within a few days of Jake's submission to the invisible hand (which he has named Ted), all of St. John's is better off and experiencing less crime.

The Doyle Whisperer

While taking a family vacation the Doyles come across a old cowpoke who has a way with animals, they immediately trust him and do what he wants. Much to everyone's surprise, Terrance's skills seem to work just as well on Jake as they do horses.

At Mal's behest Terrance gets Jake to buy some clothes that reflect his age and chosen profession. Furthermore, Terrence gets Jake to lay off the ladies for the rest of the vacation. Sadly, Mal can't quite afford to bring Terrence back to St. John's to work as a full time Jake-wrangler.

To Jake Doyle!

The Series Finale, Part 8 of 9

On Good Friday, in the year 2545, three drunk, middle-aged businessmen stumble into The Duke from Jake Doyle's traditional Irish wake, and order tall glasses of Irish Whiskey. They can be heard to say:

Drunk #1: Jake Doyle was the best damn PI in the office! Did you know Doyle was 11 feet tall, and was as hairy as a gorilla!
All together: to Jake Doyle!
Drunk #2: One time Doyle went back in time to stop the Great Fire of 1892, but let the fire happen anyway, because he liked to roast marshmallows!
Drunk #3: Jake Doyle lived for over 500 years, and he was canonized by the Pope when he was 30!
Drunk #2: Best damn PI in the office!
Drunk #1: One time Jake went to medical school to save his friends from a terrible virus. He graduated med school in 15 minutes!
All together: to Jake Doyle!
Drunk #3: Doyle sired 10000 children, and didn't pay child support for any of em'!
Drunk #2: Did you guys know Doyle was premier of Newfoundland from 2011 to 2075...It's true- he revived Joey Smallwood's rubber boot factory, and won the Noble Peace Prize for...somethin'!
Drunk #1: Jake Doyle won the Mr. Universe award 50 years straight after life was found on other planets!
All together: to Jake Doyle!

They carry on this way for the entire episode, interrupted several times by others who knew Jake Doyle, and several fights break out with other bar patrons over who loved Jake Doyle more.
--
With acknowledgements/apologies to SNL

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Doyle

Jake and Mal are hired by the local botanical gardens to figure out who was behind a rash of rare plant thefts. Plenty of good puns are made at Rose's expense.

Meanwhile, as ridiculous as it sounds, Tinny gets back into the illicit plant business to fund her trip London.

Doyle of 60

In an alternate, though eerily similar, universe Jake continues to engage in detecting, though now as an RCMP officer stationed in Canada's north. Jake's best friend looks exactly the same as his best friend Walter but is now named Wallace. Much frostbite ensues as Jake continues to bare his rock-hard abs during the course of investigations.

Doyle Hospital

During a slump in the economy the Doyles realize that the private detecting game just isn't cutting it anymore, they really need to earn more money. Everyone decides that it would be best if they all got jobs at the same hospital so that they can have interconnected social and work lives, scout potential insurance fraud cases, and meet secret romantic partners.

As the Doyle Turns

In this excruciatingly slow and implausible 10 000-part episode Tinny gets hit by a car and ends up in the ICU, Des embezzles $50 000 to send Tinny to London, Rose has an affair with Walter, Walter falls in love with Leslie, Leslie falls in love with her partner, her partner realizes he's gay, the hot crown prosecutor finds out that she is Tinny's mother, Mal has a heart attack and then finds god, Christian goes on and off the smack a dozen times, and Jake falls in love with an unending string of women.

Doyle: Random Island

Russell Hantz hires Doyles to protect him from irate Survivor producers.

Submitted through Twitter by KKellyNFHerald.

Jake of All Trades

Jake, our loveable five tool detective, finds himself in a bit of a pickle and is forced to bring out all five of key skills: lover, crime fighter, ATV driver, beer drinker, sun glasses taker-offer, shirt removerer, hood of car slider-overer, ballroom dancer, time-traveller, master debater, dictionary pronunciation key reader, and son.

The Doyle and the Beautiful

Jake takes us on a tour of his beauty regime - it's awe inspiring. It turns out that man-beautiful doesn't just happen - it takes work, and plenty of it.

Doyle of Cooking

Jake decides to uncover the Colonel's secret mix of herbs and spices.

Figgy Doyle

During a dessert party hosted by Mal and Rose and attended by all of the Doyle regulars (i.e. Walter, Des, Tinny, Christian, Nikki, Nikki's boy toy/lawyer/fiance, Leslie, the hot crown prosecutor, Leslie's partner, and the Mayor) a glass of red wine is spilled on light carpet in one of the bedrooms. Though it obvious that the wine was spilled by one of the attendees no one fesses up. Each of the detectors present takes a stab at solving the case and clearing themselves.

Desultory Results

Des, as is his wont, continues to hassle the Doyles about finally being given his own case. He feels that his claim is particularly meritorious now that he has lodged over a year with the firm and has engaged in a number of undercover excursions. Jake and Mal are somewhat hesitant to oblige their young apprentice because of his buffoonery and general ineptitude.

Fortunately a week of restraint on Rose's part is able to able to convince a newly enervated Malachy that now is the time for Des to get a case of his own. After some discussion, Jake and Mal decide that the case for Des will have to come from their pro bono cold case file, a file that the Doyles keep for slow patches and practice.

Eventually Jake and Mal assign Des the Dana Bradley case. Not surprisingly, Des starts his investigation by heading to a Ron Hynes show to hear The Ghost of Dana Bradley so that he will be up to speed on the details of the case. Afterwards Des tries to track down potential witnesses to interview, he also tries to retrace the young Bradley's steps in the days leading up to her disappearance. Of course, this is all to no avail - the case had gone absolute zero cold years ago.

On the upside, Jake and Mal have proven that Des isn't yet fit for solo work - now they won't have to even entertain such requests for another few years.

Jake Doyle and the Prisoner of Her Majesty's Penitentiary

An insane convict escapes from the penitentiary and intends to hunt down Jake and kill him. The RNC places around the clock security on the Doyle premises and Jake is informed that he is not to go out at all while his hunter is on the loose. Jake, of course, is not about to miss out on the chance to woo Leslie, who has been spending a ridiculously unbelievable amount of time on surveillance duty for a sergeant. While Leslie is freshening up in the bathroom, the convict sneaks into the Doyle house and confronts Jake. It turns out that it was all a misunderstanding and the convict is actually Jake's godfather, Sirius Black.

The End.

You asked for it....Doyle the Barbarian!

Move over, Arnold Schwarzenegger - there's a new barbarian in town and his name is Jake Doyle. Based on the popularity of Doyle the Barbarian in this week's poll, we've come up with a poster for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

In this dangerous line of work, Jake decides to carry protection. Carrying handguns is illegal, so Jake decides to see if he can get away with carrying a sword. In order to avoid trouble with the hot cop, Jake also wears a loin cloth and speaks in broken english. No case presents itself, but Jake is voted in as Governor of California.

The Newfoundland Cultural Secret Service

The Newfoundland Cultural Secret Service (NCSS) (See: One Doyle in the Life of Ivan Denisovich) is a secret branch of the Newfoundland Government responsible for protecting the province from threats to Newfoundland traditional and pop culture (They don't care about Labrador though).

The NCSS was founded by Pamela Morgan and Andy Jones, though the date is unknown. The NCSS gained official status when the cod moratorium began, and the province developed the tourism industry.

Currently, their duties include protecting Canadian idol participants of Newfoundland origin from stalkers and derision; investigating and interrogating those suspected of anti-Newfoundland Culture (NC) sentiments; holding dangerous anti-NC extremists in a secret network of prison camps across the island (who are forced into slave labour canning "iceberg water"); and engaging in espionage against anything the EU does on principle, but especially the anti-sealing propaganda.

Their most visible role involves protecting the Doyles from being crushed by the rush of ladies that attempt to chase Jake down a few times a day. This has forced the NCSS to be a part of a few episodes, much to their chagrin, as they prefer to remain an invisible but powerful force in Newfoundland Society.

Not the most athletic bunch, NCSS members resent Jake's hotness, and how much running he forces them to do when the ladies get into a frenzy. They can often by found at Tim Horton's talking about CSI... that is in a fishing room talking about "The Adventures of Faustus Bidgood." Whew, close one.

In the Name of the Doyle

An old collar of Mal's gets out of jail and decides to exact revenge the only way he can afford - with a brutal fist-based beating. While Mal is in the hospital Jake and Christian promise to find the culprit and exact revenge.

In something of a role reversal, Des and Tinny have to try to talk Jake and Christian out of making such a horrible life choice. As Des and Tinny are fairly unpersuasive they decide that the only thing that will work is if they solve the case and then destroy all of the clues that will lead to the real culprit.

After running up against dead end after dead end Jake and Christian realize that they are unlikely to find the assailant. Furthermore, Mal seems to be getting better, actually his new hip may mean that he is more indestructible than before.

Only when Des and Tinny are convinced that Jake and Christian have gotten the blood lust out of their system do they provide Leslie with the evidence needed to arrest the culprit. Jake is pretty pissed, but he also realizes that the young'uns did him something of a favour. How would he romance the ladies from inside HMP?

The Doyle in Black

A mysterious man in black starts appearing in places at the same time as members of the Doyle family. Of course, whenever this mysterious man in black is approached he manages to disappear and evade capture. Nonetheless, the man in black tends not to leave without at least leaving some sort of clue to his true identity.

Aside from a few dalliances with attractive members of the opposite sex, Jake is glued to this case from day one. He really wants to know who it is that appears to be following them.

Eventually Rose is able intuit the location of the man in black. The Doyles then all head down to the rooming house while Mal heads in to confront the gentleman in black.

After a few minutes of anxious waiting Mal walks out of the house with his arm around the shoulder of the man in black. As Mal later explains, apparently this guy is his illegitimate half-brother from an affair Mal's father had. It is also explained that the man in black was only following the Doyles around to try to think of a way to introduce himself to his long-lost family, he didn't realize that he was also freaking them out with his actions.

Des is particularly pleased to learn that Tinny has a half-cousin who isn't nearly as prudish as Tinny. Will this be the end of Des's infatuation with Tinny?

The Scarlet Doyle

A mutant strain of scarlet fever breaks out in St. John's and Jake has no choice but to rely on his intensive medical training to find a cure. This particular strain is highly contagious and leads to loss of libido in women. Jake manages to track down the source of the strain to a shipment of endangered Sumatran rhinoceros that had been smuggled into St. John's harbour from Borneo.

Unfortunately, Jake is unable to figure out a cure and decides that he can't live in a city where women are not dying for a piece of his hot bod. Jake packs up his bags and moves to Botwood.

You don't know Jake!

Eager for a ratings boost after being brought back for a third season, Jake coins a catch-phrase..."you don't know Jake!", which he says whenever anyone... says anything. He irritates the rest of the characters until they lock him out on the roof of Cabot Tower, and refuse to let him in until he gives up his beloved phrase.

Jake eventually relents and is let back down, but starts saying the less original, but more popular, "that's what she said." Jake doesn't understand the meaning of this one, and says it whenever anyone... says anything. Tired of getting confused looks, Jake settles on, "oh yeah!" which everyone loves, and he can say it whenever anyone says anything. The show gets a ratings boost, and Jake gets more ladies each episode, for which he has only one thing to say...

--

Case for the episode? uh... the Hell's Angels and... hotels...

Acknowledgement: with thanks to the CBC web ad campaign.

Doyle's Fancy

Shortly after joining a traditional Newfoundland music group, Doyle's Fancy, Jake decides to adopt the music friendly Erin's Pub as his new hangout (it also doesn't hurt their case that they also have above-urinal head rests). While getting to know his new bar crowd Jake also meets a new set of low-lifes, in particular a group of shifty pharmacists who appear to be at the heard of an Oxy ring that is supplying police officers with hush money.

Jake realizes that even though this situation can't be allowed to continue the local police will be of no help.

Jake, with the help of the rest of the Doyles and Des, sets about gathering evidence on the Oxy ring. As they dig deeper they learn that this is becoming a bigger case and that it may even bring down a provincial cabinet minister or two.

Once they finally have all of the necessary evidence they call in Leslie and the hot crown prosecutor to present them with the details of the case. Leslie then races around town and singlehandedly arrests the culprits and commences the process of bringing the perpetrators to justice.

As planned, Leslie is very pleased with Jake for helping her crack such a large case. Consequently, the sexual tension between them reaches a new level of awkward.

Jake Two-Two and the Hooded Fang

In a fit of sibling related rage Jake runs away from home. For the first few hours everyone just assumes that Jake went to the Duke to console himself in an unending parade of pints. It is only when they don't find a hung-over and slightly fetid Jake on the living room couch the next morning that they realize something is amiss.

While on the run Jake meets up with some mysterious figures and ends up joining them on a trip to Bell Island. Only once Jake has entered their underground lair (the old iron ore mine shafts) does he realize that he may have fallen in with some bad people, particularly the hoodie wearing Fang (the self-appointed leader of the group).

Though Jake still can't stand his siblings (both of whom are now living with Mal and Rose) he decides that their annoying traits are better than being caught up with a band of petty criminals who live in abandoned mine shafts on an island with bad ferry service. Of course, Fang et al aren't keen on having Jake leave now that he knows all of their secrets and the location of their secret hideout.

Jake, as you might expect, manages to escape from Fang and his gang by using his street fighting skills and booby trap setting expertise, and at one point he even resorts to blinding them with the beauty of his rock-hard abs.

When Jake finally makes it back home he gives Leslie a call and tells her about the squatters on Bell Island. After a quick SWAT operation Fang and his team are rounded up and sent to HMP (along with many of Jake's other antagonists).

Hey Doyle!

Jake, as a tambourinist, joins an 8 piece alt-rock band to kill the time between cases (and chicks dig guys in bands). This new sideline puts Jake in touch with a number of the bartenders and club owners in the St. John's area.

Almost immediately Jake starts to get the sense that something is amiss. With a little help from Des and Tinny acting as undercover operatives, Jake uncovers a cartel among the bartenders intended to drive up drink prices in the St. John's area.

Fortunately, Leslie has experience with forensic audits and corporate crime so she is able to swoop in on Jake's cue and take the big-wig bartenders down.

Victoria's Doyle

Jake decides that the best way to attract women would be for him to become a lingerie designer. Amazingly, Jake actually convinces Leslie and the hot crown prosector to act as his models.

Mal hires himself to investigate this abomination.

Doyle and Punishment

Leslie informs Jake that he will be harshly reprimanded for interfering in a high-profile police investigation. Never one to take Leslie's position as Sergeant seriously, Jake assumes that Leslie is trying to engage him in some hot role-play. Jake breaks into Leslie's house and handcuffs himself, naked, to her bed. Unfortunately, this action lands Jake in prison where he spends the next 6 months playing the role of "Nancy" to an inmate named "White Power Bill".

The Lure of the Labrador Doyle

Jimmy Doyle, Mal's brother and a long-time resident of Labrador's south coast, insists that Rose and Tinny finally be brought up to meet him. Given Jimmy's tendency to over-drink Jake decides that he should tag along to keep an eye on things. Des decides to go because he won't have anything to do if he left in St. John's without the Doyles.

Of course, as soon as they they arrive Tinny gets up to her usual saucy hijinks and refuses to participate in any of the planned activities. The upside is that while everyone is away for the day Tinny gets to walk around downtown Forteau. Not surprisingly, Tinny notices a strange boat with some bulky boxes.

When the rest of the Doyle clan returns from a day of adventures Tinny fills everyone in on what she saw. They all decide that Jimmy's plans need to be put on hold and that the suspicious boat needs to be investigated. (Of course, we can't forget that Jimmy is a Doyle and therefore naturally endowed with private detecting skills.)

When the Doyles finally have enough evidence they call in Leslie to make a drug bust.

Surprise, surprise, the shipment was just the annual coastal boat delivering the town's supplies. Leslie is not impressed. As soon as Jimmy sobers up he realizes that by not recognizing the boat he has tarnished the Doyle name. Will Leslie ever be able to trust the Doyles again? With the RNC still have any resources after their failed large-scale helicopter and boat based bust in Labrador?

The Last King of Doyle

Jake travels to West Africa to put his medical degree to use, and volunteers for Doctors Without Borders, because he's that kind of guy. He returns to Newfoundland to discover that the province has lost Labrador to Quebec and seceded. Newfoundland is now an independent country, the Democratic People's Republic of Newfoundland. Jake meets the Dear Leader and Man of a Thousand Songs, Ron Hynes, and becomes his personal doctor and PI. Hynes' leadership is inspirational, but Newfoundland falls on hard times and hits bankruptcy...again.

The international courts decide to divide Newfoundland into territories based on geology: the eastern half is governed by a group of West African countries, and the western half is governed by the League of United States' Appalachian States. These new influences and the rush of immigrants from both parts of the world divides West and East Newfoundland further, until civil war breaks out.

Jake ends the war, reunites the country, helps deliver a baby in a taxi, and beds more than the usual number of ladies.
After Doyle crowns himself King of Newfoundland, there is still enough time left in the episode for Newfoundland to invade Russia.

Atanarjuat: The Fast Doyle

Jake is up north somewhere, and it looks like he is trying to help on a case, but it's in Inuktitut, and it's really hard to tell what's going on, but he looks really cold with no shirt the whole time.

The Chronicles of Doyle

Tinny gets high off the pot she's been growing in her friend's basement. While on a bad trip, she wanders into a large closet and manages to lock herself in. No one hears from her for days. Also, no one cares.

Moby Doyle

The operator of Scademia Adventure Tours approaches Jake with a whale of a case. One particularly ferocious whale has been terrorising tour boat operators and driving away tourists. Jake agrees to take on the case, though runs into some trouble with animal rights activists who claim that Jake's investigation is "whale hunting". Jake eventually drops the investigation, though only because he doesn't like the way his ass looks in sailor pants.

The Kilbride Three

The Kilbride Three are three notorious criminals, Bruce Tobin, his brother Billy Tobin, and Brad Abbott, who are actually from Shea Heights, but commit their crimes in Kilbride, commuting faithfully every Saturday night by ATV to hold up one of the three gas stations in the Kilbride area for black horse, smokes and scratch tickets (Billy also like a bit of beef Jerky, and Brad likes to ask for a soft serve, and hit on the lady working the counter).

After each hold up, they gun 'er over to one of the local cemeteries and get drunk and eat beef jerky. Everybody knows it's them, and they are wonderfully predictable, yet no one has managed to catch them until a young Nora Saunders cuts her teeth on the case. See: Remington Doyle

Dress Your Doyle In Corduroy and Denim

Jake finally decides to start wearing a shirt on a regular basis.

The shirt Jake choses to wear has a corduroy torso and denim sleeves. (C'mon, give him a break, it's his first shirt.)

A flood is caused by the women of St. John's who are weeping because they may never again catch a glimpse of Jake's sweet, sweet abs.

Coronation Doyle

The "Oh Yeah" intro featuring Great Big Sea is lost when CTV offers more for the royalties, and they use the song for their own program "Nation of Doyle" leading to national outrage. CBC creates a contest to create a new intro for the show, but all the entries are crap, so CBC buys the rights to the Coronation Street intro. The audience is confused by the depressing song playing as Jake whips off his sunglasses, and St. John's doesn't look in good shape with the brick row housing. The episode features far too many characters and cases, and drags on for 40+ years, yet gains a loyal following, because nothing else is on. Guest stars: Don Cherry, who CBC still find money for.

Whose Doyle is it Anyway?

The writers want a midterm break like the university students get, and don't produce a script, so the episode is improved live on Duckworth Street next to the Tim Horton's. Random passer-bys shout out suggestions for the case, plot twists, props, and love interests. The end result is more coherent than usual with fewer plot holes. Guest stars: Drew Carey, who begged for work and wouldn't go away.

Remington Doyle

In this extra special episode, Jake grows his hair out, wears a suit, and turns the sexual harassment meter to 1982, much to the delight of every female he meets except for one. A young, female gumshoe named Nora Saunders applies for a job with the Doyle PI.

Malacky thinks she's got potential, while Jake wants her to get him coffee and look pretty. Nora turns the tables on Jake by capturing the famous "Kilbride Three" in a daring ATV chase through the Goulds. Jake, impressed, calls her, "a young, hot Margaret Thatcher."

Nora, fed up with Jake's attitude, opens a rival PI firm, and begins to take cases from the Doyles. Des hatches a plan to get them together by posing as a client with a case about stolen TV signals, and hires both Jake and Nora on the same case. They meet in the field, and sparks fly. Has Jake found true love, or is Nora really "the iron lady?"

Doyle Talk Pretty One Day

Jake, after years of less than perfect diction and a tendency to overuse slang, decides to go a speech language pathologist for help. Not only does Jake immediately develop a crush for his oral skills instructor, but he also learns that her landlord is something of a slumlord.

In an attempt to impress this woman Jake decides to go on a one man crusade against this slumlord. Not surprisingly, Jake brings all of his private detecting skills to the table. He even goes so far as to send Des and Tinny undercover to investigate the conditions of a few of this guy's apartments.

Mal can't believe what an incredible waste of time this all is. The Doyle's are private detectives not social justice crusaders.

Of course, after the case wraps up and the slumlord is brought to justice, the speech language pathologist tells Jake that she could never be with someone who didn't come by perfect diction naturally. She is surprised to learn that he actually thought he had a shot with her. Fortunately for Jake, Leslie and the hot crown prosecutor are still hanging around somewhere in the background.

A Heart Shaped Box of Doyle

After being stood up for Valentine's Day dates with both Leslie and the hot crown prosecutor, Jake decides to console himself with discount chocolates. Because Jake can do this inside he decides he won't even put a shirt on while gorging himself. Amazingly, not having a shirt on for such a long period of time helps Jake feel better about himself.

Jake decides to investigate his new good mood by having a few pints at the Duke.

Valentine's Doyle

Jake is so hard up for some action that he tries his hand at speed-dating on Valentine's Day. Jake leaves the event feeling pretty confident that he will be receiving non-stop phone calls from the ladies, begging for a second date. A few hours pass without a single phone call, which leads Jake to believe that the whole event was rigged. Convinced that women have been scammed out of a chance with THE Jake Doyle, he heads back to look for clues. Will he finally realise that no one will ever love Jake Doyle as much as Jake Doyle?

Co-written by Rebs.

Trinity Butt

Though now a nun, Trinity Butt used to be Jake's high school girlfriend. Actually, it was Trinity's break-up with Jake that lead her to the nunnery - she felt she just couldn't deal with any more relationships or break-ups.

In the years since she joined her convent, Trinity has really perfected the art of wearing her little black habit. In many ways, bringing a sense of style and glamour to her convent has been one Trinity's greatest contributions to convent life (particularly as her spiritual contributions have been somewhat limited).

Trinity appears in A Doyle in the Henhouse.

Doyle in Wonderland

Des gets lost in da woods and eats a bunch of berries. A moose guides him to what appears to be a fantastic version of Shea Heights, where a bunch of b'ys are trowin' rocks. Jake arrives dressed in white and bails him out.

Contributed by Nick.

My Ancestors were Rogues and Doyles

Given that the Spring is the slow season for private detecting, Jake decides to head out on a sealing vessel to make a little extra spending money (tear-away shirts and sunglasses cost a lot these days).

While out on the ice pans Jake realizes that he is not really up to being a sealer (plus there are no hot ladies out there and it is damn difficult to be shirtless in such conditions). Jake also realizes that that he doesn't want to lose face in front of all of his fellow sealers. Jake needs to come up with a way to leave the vessel without looking like a wuss.

Not surprisingly, Jake goes to private detecting to look for an out. Jake claims that he has a lead on crooked skippers and their ways of cheating honest sealers out of their full pay. The sealers immediately encourage him to quite and look into the case.

After half-heartedly following up on his fabricated case for a few days Jake decides he has put enough time into his cover story and returns to St. John's and the detecting business.

Random Doyle

Jake visits his sick grandmother, because he's that kind of guy, and learns about the Doyle family history. Jake is shocked to find out most of his ancestors were rogues and thieves, who only came to Newfoundland to escape English justice in Ireland (a form of justice known for it's injustice).

Much to Malacky's chagrin, Jake opens up cases on all his ancestors in a bid to either clear their names or disown them for being criminals. Jake finally accepts the truth when he visits the old homestead, and finds drawings and diagrams of all his ancestor's crimes on the walls as plain as day. The evidence shows that his ancestors managed to steal from the French, the Beothuk, the English, the Micmac, the Inuit, the Spanish, the Portuguese, the Presbyterians, the Moravians, the Anglicans, the Methodists, the Salvation Army crowd, the American servicemen, and a total of 24 Doyles killed 26 people in drunken brawls. Will Jake's family history push him to the wrong side of the law? Only audience testing will know.

Destinny's Child

Des finally hooks up with Tinny, who gets preggers, and they have to hide the truth from Jake while they figure out what to do.
Des wants to keep the baby, and raise him or her to be hip hop star who takes care of them in their old age, while Tinny wants to end it. Rose finds out, and promises to keep quiet, but keeps making inappropriate references about buns in the oven.

When Jake finally puts two and two together, he throws them into his time machine, and sends them back to before the pregnancy. They return to the present with no bun in the oven, and Des still in love with Tinny, who is back to being oblivious. Jake decides that his time machine could be a profitable "family planning" business, and sets up three time machines at Booth.

Degrassi Doyle High

A jilted ex-lover of Jake's, his old high school principal, let's it be known that Jake never passed grade 11. In order to limit the damage to his rep, Jake goes back to high school to retake Home Ec, Calculus, and French. To make matters worse, Jake is attending the same school and classes as Tinny, who is a much better student.

Jake is shocked to discover that the other students find him really old, even though he puts on and takes off his sunglasses frequently. Jake becomes very unpopular when he begins investigating a student drug ring, and Tinny may be involved. Jake's reputation takes a further dive when he blows up the Home Ec lab.

The episode is supposed to end with Des finding out he has a new and scary STD, making for some very powerful Canadian television. Instead, the Home Ec explosion maxes out the budget, and the explosion plays at random times throughout the episode, and for six minutes at the end to fill out the time.

Doyle Harder

In the long awaited follow up to Doyle Hard, Jake, against his father's advice, again goes to visit Nikki and her new husband.

This time Jake is to meet the neurotic couple at Pearson Airport. The plan is that they will take Nikki's husband's small plane to a Georgian Bay cabin for a weekend away.

Jake, while waiting for the couple to arrive, uncovers a terrorist plot to destroy the CN Tower. Immediately he springs into action and single-handedly takes out all three dozen military-trained terrorists. Little does he know that his exploits are being covered live by the national news network.

After defeating the terrorists, though he took a few punches to the face and a bullet or two, Jake manages to patch himself up enough to go meet up with Nikki and her husband so that they can go on their trip.

Vitamin Doyle

Jake, convinced he is a health elixir for the females of the species, does his best to spend as much time as possible with as many ladies as possible. There is much shirtlessness as Jake tries to convince doubtful ladies of his medicinal properties.

Beverly Hills Doyle

After Walter goes missing while on vacation in Beverly Hills, Jake and Mal drive Jake's crappy blue GTO out to investigate. Not surprisingly, Jake manages to get on the nerves of the LAPD just moments after arriving in town (a situation that is not improved when the LAPD confirm his identity with the RNC). Nonetheless, Jake manages to find a potential love interest among the members of the force.

Because Jake and Mal don't really know where Walter was when he went missing the decide to start by checking all of the strip clubs in LA to see if anyone saw him. Not only does this process take them several weeks, but it also costs them thousands in cover charges and two drink minimums. Sadly, in the end, this strip club crawl turns up nothing on Walter.

After a few more weeks of ineffective poking around the Doyles decide that this is a case that would best be handled by the LAPD. They decided that they should admit defeat and head home.

While making their way back to the expressway they see Walter trying to thumb a ride back to Newfoundland, or at least out of LA/Beverly Hills. Reunited, they drive off over the horizon.

Doyle it Down, will ya?

In the long awaited follow up to Doyle it Back a Little, Jake decides that their PI business needs a website because, "everybody gets stuff off the Google these days."

Malacky is dismayed by the website with it's display of topless photos of Jake to "boost the lady clientele." Jake spends days at home in his underwear working on the website, and in his absence crime spikes across the city. The website drives business away (except for lady callers with no crimes to report), until Des hacks the site to show Jake the security flaws. Jake learns he doesn't like the information superhighway, and would rather go down "hot cop road."

Brand Spanking New Poll!

It's time to announce the candidates for our weekly poll!

And the nominees are....

Whack-a-Doyle
After a payoff from a substantial case, Jake rents a fantastic house filled with toys, gadgets, talking furniture and appliances. Malachy stops by to reveal the secret word each day. Jake occasionally indulges in snack time, makes picturephone calls and wears magic glasses.

Doyle: Cultural Learnings of Canada for Make Benefit Glorious Republic of Newfoundland
Taking a vacation from the P.I. business, Doyle decides on a cross-Canada trip. To save money, he applies for federal arts funding under the pretext of filming a documentary about what the rest of Canada can teach Newfoundland, and adopts a "goofy Newfie" persona and travels across the country. Appearing boorish and uneducated, Doyle makes stops at events like a rodeo in Alberta and an antique shop in Ontario and alternately endears and enrages the people he meets while exposing casual discrimination against Newfoundlanders and skewering Canadians' self-perceptions. Meanwhile, Tinny gets busted for pot or whatever she's got going on right now.

The Motorcycle Doyles
Jake and Walter ride a motorcycle across Newfoundland, providing detection along the way. The whole episode is dubbed in Spanish...badly.

Black Eyed Doyles
After a late night and a few too many drinks at the Duke Jake and Mal are mugged on their way back to Mal's place. While the mugging is going down Jake tries to fight off the robbers. Of course this drunken attempt at self-defense just doesn't really work and instead leads to both Jake and Mal getting a bit of a beating (and black eyes).

The next day, instead of reporting the theft to the police and dealing with the resulting embarrassment of such an activity, Jake and Mal undertake their own investigation to track down the muggers.

When Jake and Mal realize that their assailants are involved in more heinous crimes than just stealing wallets from drunk guys they feel obliged to call in both Leslie and the hot Crown prosecutor.

Doyle the Barbarian
In this dangerous line of work, Jake decides to carry protection. Carrying handguns is illegal, so Jake decides to see if he can get away with carrying a sword. In order to avoid trouble with the hot cop, Jake also wears a loin cloth and speaks in broken english. No case presents itself, but Jake is voted in as Governor of California.

The poll results are in!

Our 2nd poll closed earlier today and the winning pitch was....

SHERLOCK DOYLE!

As we enjoy giving our more popular pitches a visual treatment, we decided to create a poster for this week's winner.

When a highly organised criminal force suddenly seizes control of the city, the local radio late-night show begins receiving cryptic phone calls from a mysterious source named Moriarty. Jake and Mal are hired to fit the pieces of the puzzle together before Moriarty unleashes his "master plan". As days wear on, Moriarty, using his superior intellect, begins to publicly taunt the Doyles and their inability to uncover his plan. Frustrated that his talents are being wasted on Jake, Moriarty leaves the city in hopes of finding a nemesis of equal intellect.

Are You There God? It's Me, Jake.

Jake takes a step back to examine his family life and relationships and decides that he doesn't like what he sees. With Mal and Rose finally married, Jake is being thrown out of the house (rightly so, he's like 35). To make matters worse, Jake has been dealing with his growing jealousy towards Leslie's new boyfriend, getting the run around by the hot crown attorney, dealing with his first period, and the fact that for all of his supposed charms the only friend he seems to have is Walter. For some reason, it is only now that Jake realises that his life is one big plot-hole. Jake decides to turn to prayer and after seeing The Flying Spaghetti Monster in a urinal cake at the Duke, converts to Pastafarianism where inebriation and contradiction are both welcomed and encouraged.

Cod Liver Doyle

Developers of a new seal oil based nutraceutical come to the Doyles after developing suspicions that their production line may have been contaminated. The Newfoundland Seal Oil Co. Ltd. suspect that their competitors in the cod liver oil industry may want to put the kibosh on the development of a new competitor product. The company is particularly worried about the issue because they are only a few days away big pharmacy chain pitch - and they need to be able to show the store owners that they can supply them with the required volume of product.

Jake and Mal decide the best approach would be to send Tinny and Des undercover as factory workers. Almost as soon as they arrive Tinny and Des learn that the company has more problems than just it's competitors, but they also have a hostile union that seems to be willing to go to any end to negotiate a better contract for its workers.

Only tried and true detective work will help the Doyles figure out if the culprits are the competitors or the union. Or is it someone else?

Not surprisingly, the culprit turns out to be the person you least suspected - the factory owner's wife.

The Doyle of Unrequited Dreams

After working on a case for a distasteful client Jake falls into an existential funk. Jake starts to wonder if private detecting is really a worthwhile use of one's life? He fears that when he looks back on his life as an old man he will feel as though he hasn't really accomplished much.

Nonetheless, Jake is still a private detective with new cases coming in every day.

A few days after Jake falls into this funk a series of cryptic clues are mailed to the Doyle office. Slowing Jake and Mal start to realize that someone has been kidnapped and that they need to find the missing person. Interestingly, they don't know if the clues are being sent by a taunting kidnapper or a witness afraid to come forward.

After finding the missing woman and that that the clues were being sent by the police-averse father, Jake realizes that private detecting is important and can make a difference in people's lives. Jake's sense of self-worth is revitalized, as is his ability to be St. John's biggest babe magnet.

Doyle Pitches Mock Ups: A Doyle in the Henhouse

Given the popularity of our A Doyle in the Henhouse pitch we decided to give this pitch a slightly more thorough treatment.



[Embedded video]

An Interview with a Doyle

When Des is out late one night, gettin into nutting, Tinny worries and seeks him out. The two get caught up in an underground S&M orgy. Luckily, Jake regularly attends and is able to save them before things get too rough. Des wanted to stay.

Contributed by Nick.

Doyle: The Lost Pages

Malachy and Rose sit around drinking rye, knitting and doing housework. Jake does not appear.

Contributed by Nick.

Shogun Doyle

This episode to be released only in Japan.

Destinny

While working undercover on a case Des and Tinny finally realize that they are perfect for one another and hook up. Unfortunately, Des gets so excited by the development that he blows his cover, a development which causes the case to fall apart. Only Des's vows to make an honest woman of Tinny are enough to keep Jake from laying down a beating on Des.

Whack-a-Doyle

After a payoff from a substantial case, Jake rents a fantastic house filled with toys, gadgets, talking furniture and appliances. Malachy stops by to reveal the secret word each day. Jake occasionally indulges in snack time, makes picturephone calls and wears magic glasses.

Contributed by Nick.

Jake Doyle Phone Home

Jake encounters an extraterrestrial he names Paco and hides in his garage. After learning to communicate with each other, Jake encourages the alien to explore St John's disguised as a young girl. Nicky sees the alien in disguise, gets extremely offended and reports Jake. Jake has to evade the police as he learns from the alien that the planet is going to explode. Jake phones home and Malachy arrives to clear things up as the police corner them. The alien unveils his true identify: Mickey Rooney. The planet is safe again.

Contributed by Nick.

Tremors Doyle

When visiting the Geocentre Jake and Malachy notice a seismograph on da skitz. Shortly after, several prominent local figures (Rex Goudie, Leo Puddister) mysteriously disappear underground. Rose discovers a buncha monster worms coming out of the ground. The crew hides out on the roof of Trapper's but get distracted by the lousy music and cheap rum. Des gets eaten - hauled right through the dance floor.

Jake, heavily inebriated marches down a wormhole and throws a molotov cocktail in the worms mouth.
They forget about the rest and the credits roll.

Contributed by Nick.

The Doyle Ultimatum

Des convinces Jake to come out of hiding (see the Doyle Supremacy) and take on Stirling. Leslie directs Jake to the weird lookin' pyramid down Logy Bay. There is an epic battle of words between Jake and Geoff. They realize they have a lot in common and settle over tea (Tetley, 'course).

Contributed by Nick.

The Doyle Supremacy

Jake, recovering from his amnesia (see The Doyle Identity), is quickly enveloped in a larger conspiracy involving Geoff Stirling and Stirling Communications Intl. Jake reunites with Malachy and the two hunt down local celebrity news anchor Fred Hudson [sic]. After some light interrogation, Hudson breaks down weeping, revealing the identity of the CBC mole: Ryan Snodden [sic]. There is a shootout on mun campus ending with the death of Snodden. Jake goes into hiding again...

Contributed by Nick.

The Doyle Identity

Jake wakes up on a fishing boat forgetting who he is. Classic psychogenic amnesia. He evades RNC and hides at the residence of Shannie Duff, with whom he shares loving embrace. After some investigation he determines he is a wealthy private investigator.

Contributed by Nick.

Rip Van Doyle

Jake, with a bunch of buddies, goes into the woods just past the Goulds and hits the booze half hard. After drifting off while sitting on a tree trunk Jake comes too many years after he first went into the woods.

When Jake finally makes it back to St. John's he tries to find remnants of his old life.

After riding around on the hover bus for the better part of the afternoon Jake finally manages to track down the married Des and Tinny. Eventually he is also able to find Leslie, who has remained unmarried in case Jake ever returned. Unfortunately the newly revitalized Jake is not interested in a retired cop living on a pension.

Before you know, Jake is back at the private detecting, though his effectiveness is rather limited as he is unfamiliar with the ways of the mid-21st century technology.

Brave New Doyle

Previously on Republic of Doyle:

Fearing that the Jake and Mal may undercut the services of the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary, the Doyle team of detectives are banned from working on any private investigations in St. John's.

And Now....

In a fit of rage, Jake devises a scheme to worm his way back into the detecting business and hopefully back into Leslie's heart. He uses his time machine to assemble a crack-team of history's greatest minds who have fought censorship to help him form a legal case against the RNC. Among the chosen greats: Maya Angelou, Judy Blume, James Joyce, Galileo Galilei, Mark Twain, and J.K. Rowling.

Will the RNC realise the absurdity of their actions, or will Jake have to move his business Gander?

I Know Why the Caged Doyle Sings

There is growing concern that with every case the Doyles solve that could potentially have been solved by the RNC, the RNC might have to pay the Doyles money (even though they have never indicated that they may actually want money from the CBC... I mean RNC). Perhaps even more troublesome is the public perception that policing services are being lampooned by rogue detectives. As a result, Jake and Mal are banned from taking on private investigations.

Maurice "The Doyle" Richard

Capitalizing on the unexpected success of Republic of Doyle in Quebec, they do a special bilingual episode featuring English and… Grade 6 French. Special guest star Roy Dupuis plays Jake's half brother from Malacky's previous relationship with a French housewife.

The two half-brothers investigate flagrant cases of foreign overfishing, face off against each other in a local hockey tournament, and compete for the attentions of a hot maid, who resides on "hot maid road". As the relationship between the two stars deteriorates, Jake and Roy (who plays himself) remove their shirts and engage in a pose down competition on board a Portuguese trawler that sparks an international incident, and threatens to start a Canadian civil war.

Coming to a screen near you!! - Los Doylos De Motocicleta

Jake and Walter ride a motorcycle across Newfoundland, providing detection along the way. The whole episode is dubbed in Spanish...badly.

The Motorcycle Doyles

Jake and Walter ride a motorcycle across Newfoundland, providing detection along the way. The whole episode is dubbed in Spanish...badly.

Beam me up, Doyle!

The organizers of the local sci-fi convention get a note stating that their headliner, Species star and Newfoundland native Natasha Henstridge, will be at risk if she doesn't do a full-fledged Species impression (in the original costume) during her keynote address. Unfortunately the original costume is locked up somewhere in Hollywood. Because the organizers can't afford to cancel the event they have hired the Doyles to find the culprit before the start time of the big keynote address.

Not surprisingly, Jake becomes hot and bothered by the sea of Princess Leias, Seven of Nines, and Ripleys. Will he be so distracted that he can't focus on the case?

Doyle the Barbarian

In this dangerous line of work, Jake decides to carry protection. Carrying handguns is illegal, so Jake decides to see if he can get away with carrying a sword. In order to avoid trouble with the hot cop, Jake also wears a loin cloth and speaks in broken english. No case presents itself, but Jake is voted in as Governor of California.

RoboDoyle

After being seriously injured during an intense gun fight in Da 'Bride, Jake is offered the chance to enroll in the RNC's cyborg program. Not wanting to turn down the chance to impress Leslie, Jake agrees to have his mutilated arms and legs replaced with robotic limbs. Fortunately, his natural "abs of steel" required no replacement. With his new cyborg handware, Jake decides to seek revenge on the skeets who shot him. More importantly, Jake wants to show Leslie the new features added to his "third leg".

Doyle: Cultural Learnings of Canada for Make Benefit Glorious Republic of Newfoundland

Taking a vacation from the P.I. business, Doyle decides on a cross-Canada trip. To save money, he applies for federal arts funding under the pretext of filming a documentary about what the rest of Canada can teach Newfoundland, and adopts a "goofy Newfie" persona and travels across the country. Appearing boorish and uneducated, Doyle makes stops at events like a rodeo in Alberta and an antique shop in Ontario and alternately endears and enrages the people he meets while exposing casual discrimination against Newfoundlanders and skewering Canadians' self-perceptions. Meanwhile, Tinny gets busted for pot or whatever she's got going on right now.

Contributed by Daniel MacEachern

Doyle Hard

Jake, against his father's advice, goes to Ontario to visit a newly relocated (and re-married) Nikki. Shortly after entering the hospital Jake ducks into a broom closet to make out with a hot young orderly. While Jake is in the broom closet a well organized team of prescription drug addicts (and would be prescription drug thieves) take over the hospital and take everyone hostage in the guise of a political protest.

Because Jake was in the broom closet during the take-over the mostly-with-it Oxy junkies don't know that he exists. Jake has to take advantage of his captors' ignorance of his existence to defeat them and free the patients and doctors before too many people die because of the absence of professional medical care.

Doyle Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest

The Board of Health hire Jake to go undercover at the Waterford to investigate the proliferation of black market
anti-psychotic drugs. Jake gains entry as a patient by continually unbuttoning an imaginary shirt, and making
paranoid comments about the crime rate in St. John's.

On the inside, a disagreement with a patient over a
cup of pudding forces staff to put Jake into a straightjacket. Jake meets a stern but attractive nurse, known only as
Nurse Parsons, who feeds him pudding, and provides therapy by unbuttoning his imaginary shirt for him. Jake forgets
about the black marktet drugs, or Malacky comes and solves the case. It's not important. Jake goes down "hot nurse road,"
which turns out to be not as nice as "hot cop road," but better than "hot insurance broker road."

Kindergarten Doyle

After a high-profile kidnapping takes place at a St. John's school, the Doyles are offered a hefty sum to find the child. Despite having absolutely no experience dealing with children (nor a background in education), Jake manages to get a job at the school allowing him to go undercover as a kindergarten teacher. Hilarity ensues as Jake attempts to pump the kids for information about the kidnapping. Further complicating Jake's investigation is the presence of several hot single moms who are dying to get a piece of the sexy new kindergarten teacher. In the end, Jake solves the case and learns a valuable lesson from the children: that thing on his stomach IS a tumor and not an extra set of abs as he previously assumed.

One Hundred Years of Doyle

In this flashback episode a 100 years of Doyle family detecting endeavors are recounted. The episode starts at a family dinner in Sir John Henry Doyle's Monkstown Road home with both Sir John and Prime Minister Morris present. The mysterious death of one of Morris's domestic staff is the topic of conversation. After it becomes clear that the case is beyond the capability of the RNC, Sir John, a gentleman detective and cabinet minister, offers to give it a shot.

It doesn't take long for Sir John to crack the case and figure out that the cause of death was a hex placed on the girl's family many generations before. This experience with detecting sparks an interest in the field in Sir John's 15 year old son, Patrick.

Patrick Doyle, an accountant by trade, works for the Newfoundland Government, and eventually the Hollis-Walker Commission. Nor surprisingly, much of Patrick's detecting work has to do with uncovering instances of financial wrongdoing, of which there were many examples of in early 20th century Newfoundland.

Patrick's son, Cleophas Doyle, tired of his accountant father's stuffy ways, decides to rebel by becoming a Newfoundland Ranger. Young Cleophas soon makes a reputation for himself in the outports of the province as being the force's top bastardery investigator. At the time it was frequently suggested that young Cleophas and his associates "always get their father." This skill was particularly impressive and sought after in the pre-DNA analysis days.

After the Newfoudnland Rangers were disbanded and merged into the RCMP Cleophas decided to settle down and start a family.

Cleophas's first son, Malachy, soon began to display the family's long pronounced inclination towards detecting. Not only would Malachy always find his sibling's missing toys, but he also knew how to figure out who was stealing vegetables from his mother's garden.

When it came time for Malachy to find work he opted not to join the RCMP - the successor organization to the Newfoundland Rangers - and instead become a member of the world-renowned RNC. It didn't take long for Malachy's superiors to realize that he had a special detecting gift that they would be foolish to waste. Almost immediately Malachy was put on just about every high profile case in St. John's. And, as history will attest, he solved most of them.

When Malachy's son Jake was old enough he too began to display the family's proclivity towards detecting, though he occasionally used his skills for more self-interested ends - such as obscuring evidence of his own wrong-doings to make the detecting of others more difficult.

Much to everyone's surprise, Jake followed in his father's footsteps and joined the RNC (some suspect that it was just as a way of sticking it to Malachy) to put his genetically acquired detecting skills to good use. Though a bit of a rule-breaker, Jake proved to be just as adept as his forefathers at figuring out whodunit.

Then, of course, we move on to Tinny, the sixth generation of Doyle detectors. The verdict is still out on whether or not she has her grandmother Murphy's green thumb or the Doyle's detecting gift. Only time will reveal whether or not Tinny will fit into lineage of great Doyle detectors.

Homcide: Life on the Doyle

Once again Jake finds himself coming to next to a dead body, only this time he has no idea who the murdered person is. Of course Leslie and the RNC don't buy any of Jake's story. They want to finally be able pin something on Jake after the 40 or so times they have wrongfully arrested him and also because of the embarassing out-detectiving he and his father have engaged in over the years that makes them look incompetent.

While awaiting his trial for murder Jake skips bail to go to Central to investigate his own case. Meanwhile Rose, Tinny, and Des do their best to throw everyone off Jake and Mal's tracks. If Jake and Mal don't manage to prove Jake's innocence before the bounty hunter catches him he may have to serve a life sentence for murder - and we know how Jake is likely to be treated in HMP.

A Doyle for the Killing

While Jake and Mal are rabbit snaring on a resettled island in Placentia Bay they take on the role of 'the hunted' as they are ruthlessly hunted by the ancestors of the former residents of the island. Jake and Mal have to use their skills as PIs to find and then capture their would be killers. In this taught and psychologically thrilling episode where roles are constantly being reversed the outcome is never certain. The question on everyone's mind is whether or not the Doyles will ever make it back to the Duke for another pint?

One Doyle in the Life of Ivan Denisovich

While hunting moose, Jake and Malacky stumble upon a gulag run by the Provincial Government in the woods south of Gander. They knock out two guards, and dressed up in uniform, enter the gulag to investigate. Jake and Malacky think it must be a secret prison for detainees in the "war against terror." However, they meet a prisoner, Jessie "Ivan" Roberts who tells them that the prison is for Newfoundlanders who were identified as Anti Republic of Doyle "extremists." These Anti-Doylites were uncovered by the Newfoundland Cultural Secret Services, and are being held until the end of the series.

When Jessie discovers their true identity, he tells Jake, "sorry b'ys, I just don't care for the show is all. I likes the show where they have the Dragons right, and the b'ys come in ask for money, and the Dragons say 'frig off!'... Can you do an episode like that?"

The existence of the prison creates a rift in the family- Malacky is appalled and wants to see the Anti Doylites free to express their preference for other CBC programming, while Jake prefers to let justice take it's course. When the prison population discovers Jake and Malacky, Jake tries to win them over by leading a rousing rendition of "Oh yeah!" and taking his shirt off. After this episode, will the prison population decrease or increase?

Black Eyed Doyles

After a late night and a few too many drinks at the Duke Jake and Mal are mugged on their way back to Mal's place. While the mugging is going down Jake tries to fight off the robbers. Of course this drunken attempt at self-defense just doesn't really work and instead leads to both Jake and Mal getting a bit of a beating (and black eyes).

The next day, instead of reporting the theft to the police and dealing with the resulting embarrassment of such an activity, Jake and Mal undertake their own investigation to track down the muggers.

When Jake and Mal realize that their assailants are involved in more heinous crimes than just stealing wallets from drunk guys they feel obliged to call in both Leslie and the hot Crown prosecutor.

Doyle and 10

With only 10 hours to solve their case Jake and Mal are racing against both the clock and failure.

At the beginning all they know about their case is that they have been hired by a mysterious figure to find his daughter before the kidnappers' ransom deadline. Gradually they uncover clues to the identity of the kidnappers and the location of the daughter. The only question left to answer is wether or not they will make the the location in time to save girl.

Halftime Doyle

While Jake and Mal are off in Gander working on a big insurance fraud case, Tinny and Des use their somewhat less than polished detecting skills to work on a few small cases that have been assigned to them by Jake and Mal. While working on these cases Des and Tinny allow themselves to get involved, while undercover, in a local production of My Fair Lady as well as a weekly amateur burlesque night. Amazingly, aside from a brief 'nip slip'/'wardrobe malfunction,' their forays into the performing arts turn out to be strangely effective.

Briefly, both Tinny and Des consider leaving the detecting business to move on to show business. Of course, they soon realize that the sure bucks of PIing are a better bet than the long-shot of Hollywood success.

The Green Bay Doyles

The Green Bay side of the Doyle family comes to visit Mal, Rose, and Tinny for a few days. Not only does their arrival lead to a general state of chaos, but cousins Bob and Doug insist on 'helping' with the Doyle's current case. Tinny is particularly upset by this turn of events because as the oldest 'child' she has been in charge of keeping the other children in line, an undertaking that is almost impossible.

Amazingly, the bumbling and incompetent Bob and Doug, through a series of accidents and mishaps, do manage to assist Jake and Mal in the solving of their case. A new level of tension arises among the townie and bay Doyles when Doug and Bob feel as though they are owed money by Jake and Mal for their work on the case.

Super Doyle Osborne

In this episode filled with big stunts and daring deeds of chivalry Jake and Mal have been hired by an event promoter to get to the bottom of a number of acts of vandalism affecting his upcoming monster truck and daredevil show set to take place at Mile One. Not surprisingly, Jake quickly falls for a lady daredevil and even gets talked into assisting her with one of her stunts.

Super Doyle XLV

For their annual case-off Jake and Doyle have Leslie supply them with cold cases from the RNC's archives. Though Mal has been the winner since they started this game a few years ago, Jake has a feeling that he luck is about to change.

Jake takes advantage of his relationship with the hot Crown Prosecutor to secure important information. Meanwhile, Mal squeezes information from a number of his old cop friends who are still on the force.

In the end it comes down to the wire - both Jake and Mal have to capture their respective perps. Mal is lying in wait for his to return home while Jake is chasing his through the streets of down town.

Who will capture their criminal first?

New Poll - Round Two!!

We have a new poll up and a whole new crop of pitches to choose from. Though we can't promise that any of these will end up being real episodes, there is a good chance that a certain blog contributor will create a mock-up that will surely be a viral hit on YouTube. The episodes up for nomination are:

Doyle: Pig in the City
A flashback episode that cuts between the cases that caused Jake and Mal, respectively, to leave the RNC.

The Little Doyle's Room
Officials from the Village Mall approach Jake and Malachy about their suspicions that individuals are meeting in the Village public washroom to engage in sexual activity. In the course of their investigation, Jake and Malacky discover that in order to recognize each other, the individuals involved wear muscle shirts as a signal. When Jake hears this, he volunteers to go undercover to bust the ring. While Jake is setting the trap, Malachy gets distracted rocking out to the "Oh yeah!" theme song playing over the mall speakers, leaving Jake in a tight spot.

Sherlock Doyle
When a highly organised criminal force suddenly seizes control of the city, the local radio late-night show begins receiving cryptic phone calls from a mysterious source named Moriarty. Jake and Mal are hired to fit the pieces of the puzzle together before Moriarty unleashes his "master plan". As days wear on, Moriarty, using his superior intellect, begins to publicly taunt the Doyles and their inability to uncover his plan. Frustrated that his talents are being wasted on Jake, Moriarty leaves the city in hopes of finding a nemesis of equal intellect.

2 and a 1/2 Doyles
Jake's cousin, Bernadette, has to go to the hospital for a hip-replacement, leaving Jake, Mal, and Rose to care for her young'un, six year-old Mikey. The too-precocious-for-real-life Mikey at first seems like something of a burden to Jake and Mal who aren't used to dealing with kids. Eventually, after he takes an interest in their work, they realize that they can use him to help them in their latest case. Over the course of the case the three of them form an unbreakable bond of family and maleness that will last the rest of their lives.

Oh, and Mikey says many funny and cute things throughout the episode, mostly at Jake's expense.

Poll Results

It seems that our first poll closed a few days ago and that based on the selections offered our readers have selected a favourite pitch: X marks the Doyle.

As some of you may have seen, we created a mock-up of this pitch to allow our readers to have a slightly better sense of how such an episode might be realized were it actually to be created.



[Embedded video]

Hopefully we will have a new poll soon so that we can determine our most popular new pitch.

In unrelated news, I am proud to announce that our Twitter feed is now being followed by none other than Canadian Industry Minister Tony Clement. Even if Clement does seem to unthinkingly follow those who follow him, I nonetheless find it impressive and strange that he is following Doyle Pitches.

Just in case you needed proof.

Robin Hood: Doyle in Tights

Christian, an unemployed lawyer and former murder suspect, is finding it hard to find a job and feel as though he is really contributing to society in a meaningful way. Nonetheless, he makes an effort to go out for a nightly constitutional so that he can "remain engaged with the world" (or so he says).

At about the same time the City of St. John's is hit by a series of high-end robberies - senior cabinet ministers and businesspeople or their equivalents are being freed of their more valuable possessions.

Eventually, and not surprisingly, a reward is issued for the arrest of the culprit. Though Jake and Mal don't normally work for rewards (it is generally considered degrading in among the members of the PI fraternity) this one is big enough to entice them to take the case.

It is fortunate that the Doyles took the case as it doesn't take them long to discover that Christian is the criminal mastermind behind all of the robberies and that he has been giving all of his loot to a variety of charitable causes.

Jake and Mal are torn, they have to decide whether or not they will report Christian for stealing for modern-day plutes.

I's the Doyle

The FFAW (the fishermen's union) come to Jake and Malachy with suspicions of price fixing and underpayment by some of the province's major fish buyers. The FFAW hopes that Jake can build a case that they can eventually use to sue these producers. Not surprisingly, given the nature of the case, the case leads Jake and Mal to Fogo, Twillingate, Morton's Harbour (All around the circle).

The Doyles of Perception

Jake becomes the lead singer of a local rock band, The Blessed Virgins, and begins an investigation into the record label companies when no one signs the band.

Meanwhile, Jake gets into an argument with his bandmates over the name. Jake argues that they should be called the Jake Doyles.
When the other band members argue they aren't cool enough, Jake agrees and they decide to call themselves Jake Doyle and the Blessed Virgins.

Jake and Coke (Make it a Doyle)

All the drunken one-night-stands are coming back to haunt Jake, as not one but two pregnant ladies come forward to claim Jake is the father. Are two new Doyles on the way, or are these ladies after all Jake's PI dollars?

Eat, Pray, Doyle

After his recent divorce from Nikki and failed relationship attempts with Leslie and the hottie Crown Prosecutor Jake realizes that he needs to re-group. Jake decides to take a three part spiritual quest. Jake first goes to Woody Island to get a feed of good home cooking. Then Jake goes out to Bonavista and the Ryan Premises to pray to the gods of commerce and wealth for future success. Finally, Jake takes a trip to his family's homeland - the Iles Doyle, a small, now uninhabited, archipelago off the coast of Quebec.

Only after visiting all three sites is Jake able to solve this week's mystery: Who is Jake Doyle and what does he stand for?

Doyle Copperfield

St. John's is in shock when the city awakes to find the Basilica has completely disappeared. Jake must travel back in time to 1841 when it was being built to discover the secret of how the church could have been moved. Back in 2011, Malacky discovers that Bas Mullock, a descendent of one of the bishops buried in the Basilica crypt, has had a disagreement with the church. Meanwhile, employees of the Rooms become suspicious when their extensive lobby starts to feel less spacious.

Back in time, Jake discovers that Basilica workers were actually building a supermarket. In 2011 at the Rooms archives, Dominion employee Colin Parsons discovers the documents that prove this. Jake returns to the present with knowledge of how to move the Basilica back, but city council are voting to turn the Basilica into a Dominion Supermarket with a Liquor Store in the Convent. With overwhelming public opposition counting for so little, can Jake and Malacky stop the madness? (Hint: no, they can't)