Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Name is Doyle, Jake Doyle

Jake decides to start emulating the world's greatest spy (and lover), James Bond. In order to do this, Jake assumes the identity of Agent 709. He attempts to drink twice as much, bed five times as many women, gamble seven days a week, and speak with a heavier accent.

After a long night of playing baccarat in a dingy bar basement (a stand-in for a casino, as St. John's does not have one), an inebriated Jake picks up a random floozy and attempts to take her to the Delta Hotel in his beloved GTO. Jake manages to drive about ten feet before smashing his car into a fire hydrant and throwing up all over the steering wheel. Obviously, not everyone can be as suave as 007.

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