It's that time of the week again! We've picked four of the most popular pitches for your voting pleasure in our weekly poll. The winner will either get the full YouTube treatment or a movie poster (depending on how motivated our "Photoshop Wizard" is feeling this week). And the nominees are...
Legends of the Doyle
Disillusioned by the seedy side of St. John's, Mal moves Jake and Christian to Bay Bulls where they can be free and run tours. Des, who is like a son since Tinny's death from tuberculosis, come to live with them and bring gorgeous MUN grad girlfriend Sooze. Des, Jake, and Christian go to Afghanistan where Des dies. Years later, Jake becomes a town councillor and marries Sooze, while Christian goes walkabout. Christian gets killed by a moose.
127 Doyles
In the midst of the confusion of a large Doyle family reunion someone absconds with the roast pig. Immediately the Doyle family jumps into actions and begins investigating the theft. Several different groups of Doyles are followed, which allows different detecting styles to be highlighted. As usual, Jake and Mal take a Jake getting punched in the face approach, Faustus employs some of the mysticism of the East, while Mal's brother Jimmy reverts to his backwoods stylings. All the while the Green Bay Doyles just look on and laugh (they have already consumed the missing pig).
The Last of the Doyles
Jake goes for a routine medical exam, and discovers his "little Doyles don't work." The Doyle family decides to prank Jake, each member claiming that they are either impotent, can't bear children, or are gay, leading Jake to believe he is the last of the Doyles.
Jake is distraught that such a fine people will soon die out, and donates himself to science to find the secret to immortality, so nobody has to live in a world without Doyles. Scientists discover a way to cryogenically freeze Jake, so that he will live forever in suspended animation. Jake has one last shag with Leslie. The doctors freeze Jake, and build a grand mausoleum for him in Bannerman Park where everyone can enjoy him.
Leslie is shocked to discover she is with child. Is Jake really the father, and can the immortality process be reversed? This sounds like a job for Jakes' time machine. Or a nuclear reactor. Or a trip to the Sun. Or a secret antidote. Or a trip to the Earth's core. Or the miracle of Leslie's touch. Or whatever they did to Han Solo in Star Wars. The cryogenic freezing doesn't actually stand much of a chance.
The Doyle in the Iron Mask
Jake discovers there is a new, more successful, more handsome PI in St. John's. Jake uses his years as a blacksmith apprentice to make an iron mask for the gentleman. Jake then has Leslie arrest him on a false charge, and bribes the guards at the pen to keep the mask on the man, so that the ladies may never set their eyes on him.
His position once again secure, Jake goes about detecting with gusto, and while examining a metal pail for clues, gets his head stuck in the bucket. Jake is really stuck, but manages to make the best of it, getting custom sunglasses for the bucket.
Jake is better protected from the hits to the head he frequently gets, and uses the bucket to gain sympathy with the Florence Nightingale types, increasing his success with the ladies. Will Jake ever get the bucket off his head? Will St. John's ever find out about the PI in the iron mask? Yes and no (suspense is not the show's strong suit).
Backstreet Doyles
In order to endear themselves to a new generation of St. John's ladies Jake and Christian decide to start St. John's first boy band. To fill out their numbers they convince Mal and Walter to join. Unfortunately for the boys, Mal's tendency to harmonize makes them sound a little more barbershop than the ladies find attractive. On the up side, the Backstreet Doyles are able to secure a regular booking down the the Hoyles Escasoni.
No comments:
Post a Comment