Due to Chuck Norris's untimely reaching of the mandatory retirement age, the Texas Rangers have decided to hold international auditions to replace their prized (crime) fighting machine. Upon hearing the news Jake decides that a trip to Texas is in order (getting the job would mean a better job and a better network).
Almost as soon as Jake gets to the audition he realizes that many of the Texas Ranger wannabes are serious guys with serious fighting skills. Fortunately, Jake's snappy one-liners are of unexpected value because the Texas Ranger higher ups (i.e. producers) have decided to take things in a slightly wittier, less fighty/kicky, direction.
After the completion of the auditions and the announcement that Jake is be the new Texas Ranger Norris walked away from the set and could be heard muttering "Chuck Norris invented Jake Doyle and his father Malachy." Norris followed this up with the slightly more melancholic "Chuck Norris invented drinking to help old guys forget how old and useless they really are."
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