Sunday, March 11, 2012

No Big Doyle

Jake wins Miss Newfoundland and Labrador 2012. Townies don't see the big deal, but the outports are furious, and Mount Pearl, CBS, and Corner Brook are confused over how Jake won and whether they are town or bay.

Tinny professes to be unaffected by Jake's win, but begins dishing some serious passive agression his way. Jake offers to investigate pro bono how he, neither a woman nor between the ages of 18-24, won Miss NL, until he finds out this means for free.

Jake is pretty ambivalent about the case, since his magic tricks were awesome and his little red dress was killer. But Jake tracks a lead to Tinny's room where he discovers the plans on her wall to win Miss NL, and it becomes clear to him: Des has been jealous of his success all along! Mal gently nudges Jake and mutters something. It becomes clear to him: Tinny wanted to become Miss NL!

Jake recommends that they hold the pageant again to prevent the townies and baymen from a giant battle at the Come-By-Chance refinery that could see the isthmus obliterated and the island torn.

Who will win the new competition? Will the Doyle clan get over the revelations of jealousy? How many bay lady contestants will Jake bed over two contests? Jake throws the competition, but Tinny loses out to a determined Mark Critch, and all shed tears of happiness.

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