The Democratic People's Republic of Doyle

(new season, new show name)

For the season premiere, Doyle enlists some big time star power from Australia: the Wiggles!

The popular children's group took a wrong turn on their North American tour while Henry the Octopus
was at the wheel. Now the group is just grateful not having to sleep in the van again.
The Wiggles are to play modern day, Townie incarnations of Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Despite their colourful turtlenecks, they look cold and lost, constantly complaining about the weather everyday the show isn't shooting. They are a bit of a downer, so Jake finds an excuse to stick them back in their van for the rest of the episode.

Jake, who has recently taken to wearing pantsuits to go with his shades and kidnapping movie directors to find out how to make a better show, has a vision of his own death. He sees the hundreds of thousands of bawling Newfies at his funeral.

Jake knows what he must do. He wanders into the Confederation Building, and says to no one in particular: "Alright b'ys, dis is a coupe. Dis is a coo. I'm taking over now!" There is a loud thud, and a relieved-looking Premier Dunderdale flies out the door.

Jake's approval ratings hover at 98% until he realizes his inspired vision: he brings the Newfie bullet back to Newfoundland, so he can have somewhere romantic to die; he builds a heavily fortified zone between Sin Jawns and the Pearl; the cod return to the music of the Wiggles; Europeans begin buying up seal pelts in some hair-brained scheme to fix their debt problems; and Danny Williams slinks out of the province, wondering how he ever dared to be king while a Doyle was around.
The United States government has no choice but to include the D.P.R.D. among the axis of sexy.

Jake realizes he needs to continue the Doyle line, and Des is clearly not dictator material. Jake starts impregnating the ladies of the land, so he'll have all kinds of choice for his heir.

Will Jake find a suitable heir? Will Labrador forge a different path from the Democratic People's Republic of Doyle? Will the Wiggles ever find their way home? Marine Atlantic has the answers. Please stay on the line, your call is important to them.